scott: hoe don’t do it
stiles: *convinces him to go out in the woods alone*
scott: ohmygod
.
sheriff: hoe don’t do it
stiles: *appears at a crime scene again*
sheriff: ohmygod
.
derek: hoe don’t do it
stiles: *slowly puts down the eltric paddles in the ambulance bay* okay
Summary: Stiles disturbs an abandoned temple and catches the attention of a goddess of time and fate. When he starts time-traveling involuntarily through the past, he’s not sure if she means it as a curse or a lesson–but no matter when he travels to, he always seems to end up at Derek’s side.
This is entirely Arnab’s fault, because he posted a picture of a hot dude wearing a flag speedo with these hilarious and fantastic tags. Thanks a lot, Arnab. This one’s for you. Everyone lives AU.
Derek presses the doorbell to the new Stilinski-McCall home, balancing the bowl of homemade potato salad in his arm. He can hear laughter and shouting, but there isn’t anyone coming to the door; after a moment of staring, Cora just rolls her eyes and pushes it open. They walk slowly through the empty house, Derek holding his potato salad in front of him like a shield.
“We’re all in the back, son!” Derek hears the Sheriff call warmly, and Derek walks into the backyard.
“Oh, thank you, Derek, I’ll just take that,” Melissa says, taking the potato salad and setting it on a nearby table. She’s wearing a maroon swimsuit and flicking water gently from her hair; the Sheriff is in plaid swim trunks turning burgers on the grill, Erica is sitting by the poolside, wearing a polka-dot bikini and giggling as Boyd spreads sunscreen on her back. Lydia is sunning herself on a nearby chair as Allison braids her hair, Kira and Isaac are in the midst of what looks like an epic pool-noodle battle and Stiles is dunking Scott below water.
Scott surfaces, laughing uproariously and splashes water at Stiles. He catches sight of Derek standing awkwardly by the table and shouts, “Derek! You made it! Didn’t I tell you it was gonna be a pool party, dude?”
“Er, no,” Derek says, shifting slightly in his jeans and t-shirt, tearing his eyes away from the water sluicing down Stiles’ neck. “You said it was a housewarming barbeque, so…”
There are a few cries of “aw, come on” and “Derek, you gotta join us!” from various members of the pack before Derek just throws his hands up and says “It’s fine, guys, really…”
Cora’s already peeled out of her shirt to reveal a bright blue swimsuit underneath. “What? I thought it was obvious it was a pool party!” she grins brightly at him, and promptly cannonballs herself into the pool, splashing water everywhere, including all over Derek’s jeans.
Scott pulls himself out of the pool. “You can totally borrow one of my mine, it’s totally cool,” he says, dragging Derek back into the house, up the stairs and into his bedroom. Scott rummages around in a chest of drawers and then tosses a scrap of something at him. It’s colorful and lurid, and what is it supposed to be, a handkerchief?
“What is this?” Derek glares at Scott, stretching the thing out.
theproblemwithstardust 