security called me at work today and told me they saw me outside chasing a frog around on the security cameras. i wasnt in trouble they just wanted to let me know they saw me. i didn’t catch him.
One time I went to the art museum with my friend and we got into an elevator where there was a very conspicuous camera. My friend looked right into the camera and started salaciously rubbing his shirt over his nipples and giving bedroom eyes to the camera. I smacked him and told him to stop, he was going to get us kicked out. He said “don’t worry, they have a whole museum of fancy art to watch, they’re not watching the elevator cams”.
When we got to the top floor, the elevator doors opened and there was a museum docent standing there like she was just…waiting for us. She said “My friends in security asked me to come up here and tell you that they received your message and they like what you’ve got.” and she just. Walked away. And my friend’s entire body turned red and I haven’t stopped laughing to this day.
Tag to write
Every pack needs an emissary.
Okay but like I love this.
So has anyone written this? Because I need it lol.
Wore a flower crown to work at an elementary school and to no surprise, all the little girls wanted to try it on and be a princess of the forest. One boy gets a turn to try it on and I tell him how he looks like a prince of the forest and he looks me dead in the eyes and says in the most low and angry voice “I’m the princess of the forest”
What do you mean there was never a plot arc where Boyd got some answers, Erica got to tear shit up, and Danny got to use his talents?
you’re supposed to be in the witness protection system but until that’s set up my cop friend is making me let you live with me AU
– (@lonely-lucretia)
Sterek AU: In a particularly bad battle with the Alphas, the pack almost loses Isaac. Stiles, the only one who sees how hard Derek is taking it, gets stuck driving him home.
Stiles: guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.
Jackson, on the bottom bunk: honestly, fuck you.
Imagine Stiles making a friendship bracelet and giving it to Derek (partially as a joke and partially because he really wanted to give Derek a gift) and to his surprise, Derek always wears it.
But like imagine Spark!Stiles who is only kinda starting to figure out his spark and all that it entails thinking about how much he wants Derek to be safe and happy and to have nice things while he makes the bracelet, not realizing the power of intent. Then, one day after Derek has had the bracelet for a few months and he has been wearing it every day, some big bad comes to town and while they are fighting that swipe that Derek took to the shoulder really should have done more damage, but it didn’t, and when they go talk to Deaton about it they discover that Stiles accidentally wove a protection charm into the friendship bracelet.
OOOOOH I’M SEEING A FIC
I ordered a blonde flat white from Starbucks while on my break and the barista must have been having a long day bc he goes “that would be my stripper name” and there was like five seconds of dead silence between us before he looked up realized he said that out loud
You tipped right
i put 20 bucks in his hand and told him to pocket all of it
#SHOOK
okay but this is derek stilinski-hale finding out his husband is actually a retired secret agent. comes in handy when [insert bad guy here] sends someone to finish off the last of the hales.
theproblemwithstardust 