security called me at work today and told me they saw me outside chasing a frog around on the security cameras. i wasnt in trouble they just wanted to let me know they saw me. i didn’t catch him.
One time I went to the art museum with my friend and we got into an elevator where there was a very conspicuous camera. My friend looked right into the camera and started salaciously rubbing his shirt over his nipples and giving bedroom eyes to the camera. I smacked him and told him to stop, he was going to get us kicked out. He said “don’t worry, they have a whole museum of fancy art to watch, they’re not watching the elevator cams”.
When we got to the top floor, the elevator doors opened and there was a museum docent standing there like she was just…waiting for us. She said “My friends in security asked me to come up here and tell you that they received your message and they like what you’ve got.” and she just. Walked away. And my friend’s entire body turned red and I haven’t stopped laughing to this day.
All I see is Stiles with his two little boys, he just picked up from kindergarten, thinking about how the hell he’ll get that new kindergarten teacher to agree to a date cause he’s not only brilliant at getting his boys to take their nap, no he’s also smoking hot like how is that even fair?
I
really want to write a sterek Persephone and Hades/Greek Mythology AU where the
Gods are split into three families: Argent, the gods of the Heavens and the
Land; Deucalion, the God of the Sea, and the Hales, the gods of the Underworld.
Stiles
is the god/demigod of Spring and nature and Derek is the God of the Underworld –
a role he inherited after his family died. Although he’d never admit it, he finds
Stiles fascinating.
One
day, while Stiles is walking through a field, he’s bitten by a venomous python.
Scared for Stiles’ life, Derek carried him to the Underworld to take care of
him.
When
Chris Argent, the God of the Heavens, hears of this, he storms the Underworld and
demands that Stiles be taken to Olympus. Derek refuses, explaining that he is
safest in the Underworld where he can keep his soul safe, whereas if he were to
die in Olympus, Derek could not stop his demons from taking the boy’s soul.
Derek swears that Stiles has his protection and every day Derek travels to the
Surface World to gather food, water and ingredients for medicine for Stiles so
that he does not eat or drink anything from the Underworld and subsequentially
bind him to the Underworld without his consent.
Stiles
slowly recovers, still too weak to return to the surface world and spends most
of his days sitting by the fireplace, using a talisman to talk to the dead – to
his mother – or helping the small, potted apple tree by the fireplace grow.
He and
Derek grow close, Stiles opening up to him and proving himself to be wise for
his age as he tells Derek that he’s not the monster others see him to be; “The
largest shadows are cast by the most magnificent light, and those that seem to
be nothing more than a light are often hiding the darkest shadows.”
Derek is
determined to take care of Stiles and, as much as it pains him, he wants to
make sure that he has the choice of leaving once he has healed.
But
Stiles’ dad is furious; the fields and crops are dying without his son’s
attention and he does not trust the God of the Underworld to keep his son safe.
He wages war against Derek.
Derek
takes it willingly, walking to the Surface without an army and ready to die if
it means Stiles is safe.
Stiles
hears about this and is furious. He plucks the apple from the tree he has grown
and walks to the Surface. He stands defiantly between the opposing forces; his
father’s army and Derek. Derek notices the glossy red apple in his hand (green
apples grow on the Surface, red apples grow in the Underworld) and tries to
stop him, but it’s too late; Stiles takes a bite from the apple.
The
war is ended, Stiles making his choice to live between the two worlds, as the
God of Spring and the King of the Underworld.
But
something is wrong. Derek’s uncle, Peter – the next in line to rule the
Underworld – is enraged. He confronts Stiles, explaining that he sent the
python that was meant to kill the boy, he wanted to destroy Derek and take the
throne that his nephew had stolen from him. In a fit of rage, he tries to kill
Stiles again. But no one messes with the King of the Underworld.
Peter
underestimated Stiles, the boy fights back and overpowers him.
The disturbance
in the Underworld draws Derek’s attention. The three families – Hale,
Deucalion, and Argent – rush to help, only to find Peter subdued and Stiles
injured but alive.
Peter
is banished to Tartarus and Derek and Stiles are left to live happily ever
after, cuddling by the fire in the Underworld and walking through the fields of
the Surface World.
Derek stood in the foyer of the police station, his hands in his pockets, watching as Stiles staggered and swayed between the desks. Stiles face lit up in a bright smile when he saw Derek, running into the man’s arms and snuggling his face into Derek’s chest. Derek rolled his eyes. “Why do I keep bailing your drunk ass out of jail?” “Because you love me.”
2:
Derek looks down at the fluffy grey wolf onesie and matching slippers. He shot Stiles a glare, not a menacing one but one that made it perfectly clear his was tired of Stiles’ shit. “Why do I put up with you?” he muttered under his breath. “Because you love me.”
3:
“No, Stiles, we’re not having pizza for dinner three nights in a row. You’re luck I said yes to two nights in a row, and that was only becasue I was too tired to cook.” “But, Derek~” Stiles whined, pouting. “Stiles, no,” Derek said firmly. “Two nights was bad enough, why would we have pizza three nights in a row?” “Because you love me?” “Fine,” Derek agreed reluctantly.
4:
Derek stood at the doorway, looking at Stiles who was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a guilty look on his face. Three puppies pranced about him, playing with each other: swatting at each other with their little paws and tipping off balance and falling on their sides before looking around, confused. One of the puppies retreated into the cradle of Stiles’ lap, curling up against his leg and resting his head against Stiles’ knee as he drifted off to sleep. Derek drew in a deep breath and looked at Stiles. “Give me three reasons as to why we should keep them.” “They were abandoned and they deserve a good home,” Stiles started, before adding, under his breath, “Besides, you’ve got a habit of picking up strays.” “The strays I pick up are toilet trained,” Derek pointed out. “Reason 2?” “They’re adorable,” Stiles said softly, reaching for one of the two that were playing in front of him. He picked them up and held them up for Derek to see. “How can you say no to this face?” Derek fought the urge to smile and cave to Stiles’ wishes. He had to stay strong. “And three?” he prompted. “Because you love me.”
5:
Derek swung his legs over the edge of the bed and dragged his hand down his face. Stiles let out a tired moan behind him, the sheets rustling as Stiles crawled over to his side and wrapped his arms around Derek’s waist. “Stay,” Stiles muttered tiredly. “I have work, Stiles,” Derek said softly, laying his hand atop Stiles’. “Stay,” Stiles repeated insistently. “Stiles,” Derek started. “You’re the boss. Call in sick, take the day off, go in late, just please stay,” Stiles pleaded. He crawled up onto his knees and leant over Derek’s shoulder. “Because you love me?” Derek let out a soft sigh and pressed a kiss to Stiles’ temple. “Okay,” he whispered.
1:
Stiles looked down at the small silver ring, nestled among the black velvet lining of the small box in his hands. His ears rang with the sound of beeping machines that measured his racing heartbeat. He swallowed hard, his mouth dry. An hour ago, he was in a car crash, and now he’s here with a ring his his hand and Derek looking at him as if he were the sky and the stars. “But… why?” he rasps. “Why would you want to marry me?” Derek’s eyes softened, a soft smile lifting the corners of his lips as he whispered, “Because I love you.”
theproblemwithstardust 