A Thor spin-off film where Loki really is dead but he died with a Plan and that plan involves breaking out of the land of the dead and becoming even more goth and unkillable than before, but unfortunately all of Loki’s plans suck, leaving him to ask help from the only person who can help him and the person least likely to. It’s Heimdall, and Marvel NEEDS this high fantasy prison break buddy/arch nemesis comedy, the tagline is something like “they’ll be the death of each other” or like “these gods are conquering death…….if they don’t kill each other first” @ marvel you fuckig cowards listen
idk how you watch catws and not pick up on the fact that sam is absolutely a mirror of steve… they even straight up say it in the film.
“I do what he does, just slower”
okay we gonna do this because Sam is a reckless motherfucker that absolutely mirrors Steve’s characterization and i’m goddamn tired of people grossly misinterpreting his character b/c it fits in better with their two dimensional therapy dog version of him
Sam doesn’t like taking orders, he’s not pliant or obedient. He does what he believes is right and damn the rules (sound familiar??). Theres a reason they fucking hit it off so well right from the start.
Following that we have Steve turning up on his doorstep looking like a building got dropped on him. And what does Sam do?
Yeah sure… I’ll let a couple of avengers who just told me everybody is out to kill them into my house. Sounds like a good time. It’s also a bit telling that Sam knows exactly where his suit is. Ten bucks says he’s actually tried to steal it before but couldn’t quite manage it on his own.
And then we start getting into really no holds bar Sam:
Y’all like to forget Sam brought a two inch knife to a gun fight and won. Not to mention, he clearly walks around with a knife on him at all times… not just in his car, but on his person.
Sam gives no fucks and will take you out. Winter soldier? Bitch try it
Some hydra fool who won’t stop talking Nazi nonsense?
Fuck this guy. he’ll take him on in nothing but a fucking t-shirt.
Oh and remember that building that Steve jumped out of? Might as well top that by jumping out of the same one, just about 20 stories up.
Cool, cool, cool.
Going feet first towards the rotor blades of a helicopter, knowing if you miss your legs are mulch?
No problem.
Steve wants to track down an international maybe still brainwashed assassin?
When do we start?
And of course, this wouldn’t be complete without the penultimate Steve/Sam comparison.
So to everyone who trashes him, or does him a disservice by making him out to be nothing more than a therapist who can fix Bucky and Steve I have one thing to say. In the immortal words of the legend Samuel Thomas Wilson himself, “Man, shut the hell up.”
IN THIS HOUSE, WE APPRECIATE AND ACKNOWLEDGE THE REAL SAM WILSON
This is the scene where M’Baku calls out Shuri during the challenge. I love that everyone surrounding her snaps to action, but please check out Shuri’s body-language here.
Look at her face.
She is looking M’Baku dead in the eye. Her stance is open and relaxed. She’s not the least bit intimidated.
Also notice that Shuri’s mom and most of the Dora aren’t pointing those vibranium spears at M’Baku.
Okay but Ego was super impressed about hearing that Peter could hold an Infnity Stone, even for a couple minutes, and said he had to be his son, had to be a Celestia to survive that.
Well Jane was possed by one for a few day, so who the Hell is she related too?
Low-key, since she a Peter are basically the same age, I’m gonna headcanon now Ego got busy with some other Earth lady (you can say Ego loves Meredith, but I mean, cheating is a thing, and how much love do we really think that psycopathic planet really had in him). And, also, like, her mom died of cancer in the comics when she was nine, just like with Peter in the movies, I’m just saying. They’re totally half siblings, fight me.
An explanation for why Yondu didn’t go pick her up along with Peter though, is maybe he told Ego he’d only pick up one kid at a time (since Ravagers apparently aren’t even supposed to deal with kids at all), and then while he had Peter, figured out what was happening to Ego’s kids, so obviously didn’t go back to Earth at any point to have gotten her.
This theory is incredibly intriguing. Now I’m trying to remember if we ever learned anything about Jane’s father….
Only, I think, that he was friends with Selvig, and (maybe) a scientist too (in the comics he’s a plumber),
But I dont think its a stretch to imagine Jane’s mom could have thought she’d never see Ego again, and when she ended up with another guy, that guy was around for her and Jane, and became Jane’s father and who she called dad regardless of blood relation.
(Ive been thinking about this theory non-stop since I thought of it last night. Could you imagine how dumb Odin would feel realised he didn’t think a Celestial was worthy of his Son)
Considering how Odin treated his own second son and underestimated him at everything, it’s definitely not something he would have anticipated.
My goodness, does it make sense though. Jane Foster as half Celestial. I’m taking this theory now. That’s incredible. That would also make her and Peter Quill half siblings. Peter Quill would have a sister haha.
Could you imagine after everyone found out and they’re just looking between Peter and Jane like “how?”
But also, I think Jane would be the younger sister, and we know Peter’s all about Classic Family Tropes (Play catch with his dad lmao) so he’d totally be all over Thor when he finds out they used to date, like “Don’t even look at my sister dude, you lost all privilege when you broke her heart!”
“she broke up with me!”
“You abandond her to go planet hopping!”
“Because your girlfriend dad was trying to murder the universe!”
(Nebula and Loki in the back ground like “i hate this family so much”)
so i saw some people discussing how loki in ragnarok shouldn’t have been at all phased or subverted by dr. strange – which i agree with, but also, hey, it’s comedic and you can argue that he was taken off-guard, but upon re-watch, something stuck out to me –
there’s this moment when they appear at the bottom of the stairs and thor rolls down the last couple and stands up and he says
we could’ve just walked.
and it made me think of how magic works in terry pratchett’s novels, how (to paraphrase) the hard part wasn’t turning someone into a frog, it was not turning someone into a frog when you knew how easy it was.
like, the whole scene with dr. strange is just. all magic. all pointless magic. unnecessary magic, when, well. they could have just walked.
whereas loki doesn’t really rely on magic overmuch in the movie – he uses it as a tool, when he needs it, but if the job can be done with plain old non-magical trickery or a knife, he just uses those. he resorts to magic when he’s cornered by valkyrie, he uses it when his goals are most directly accomplished by using magic rather than by other means.
whereas dr. strange is using magic all over his scene, just to use it. just because he can. magic was unnecessary for ninety percent of what he did in that scene, the only time he needed magic was to whisk them away to norway. but he teleported all over the place even when he only needed to move a few feet, gave thor an ever-refilling beer that just spilled everywhere, floated around to make a show of how ~magical~ he was, when…
he could have just walked.
i mean, i’m very sure that the filmmakers intended it for comedic effect, but there’s also a layer there of dr. strange being much less comfortable with magic than loki is – loki doesn’t need to bust out the magic at every opportunity, it’s simply a skill, a tool that is completely under his control and at his disposal. whereas dr. strange (at least in his scene in ragnarok) is showing off, which reeks of insecurity.
i guess i’m thinking… if you take the magic away, loki is still a deadly, formidable opponent with many tricks up his sleeve, but dr. strange is just a guy in a cape.
this is good and true because in the comics loki and dr strange got in a fight in a parking lot and then both of them had their magic taken away so loki just punched stephen through a wall and called it a gay ass day
in fairness most days for Loki are gay ass days regardless of how many wizards he punches
Bruce has set up a makeshift lab in Wakanda, while the world takes stock of their dead and Wakanda mourns for their king. Bruce isn’t doing anything important, but he needs to do something, so he studies Wakanda’s vibranium supply and attempts to keep Shuri busy.
Otherwise, the grief might just be too much for the both of them to bear.
Bruce also tries very hard not to think about Tony and what form of matter Tony may or may not be at this very moment. He’s only moderately successful.
It’s on the third day of the second week after half of the world has turned to ash that Thor brings Bruce a little green snake. Bruce is baffled, but he tried to be polite about it. Bruce is heartsick, though, so that makes everything a little harder.
Then Thor asks for Bruce to see if the snake is Loki, and it takes every bit of willpower Bruce Banner poses to not burst into tears. Thor is so strong and so keen to smile, he makes it so easy for everyone to forget that he has lost nearly everything.
Bruce pokes at the snake without any further complaints. When nothing happens, the grief on Thor’s face is unimaginable.
Bruce begins spending time with both Thor and Shuri, in a desperate attempt to combat his own grief by combatting theirs.
All the while, every second or third day, Thor brings Bruce a small green animal and asks Bruce to see if it his lost brother. Bruce checks every time, with care and precision, but the result is always negative. It’s awful for both of them, but Thor can’t seem to stop and Bruce doesn’t know how to make him.
This pattern holds for a few weeks, until Thor brings Bruce a beaten and battered lizard. It’d been burned somehow and it looked like one of its limbs had been badly broken. When Thor presents it to him, Bruce honestly isn’t sure if Thor had just brought the little thing to Bruce to see if it could be saved.
“Could you check?” Thor asks, the question quiet and hurt after so many weeks of negative results from Bruce’s prodding and poking.
“Of course,” Bruce says softly, adding his portion of the call and response.
He gingerly picks up the lizard, as the poor also looks like he’d been through the wringer, and gives him a quick once over. Bruce’d been right about the broken leg and the burns were pretty –
The lizard fucking turns into Loki. A damaged, burnt Loki who scuttles backward on a broken leg while spitting blood.
Thor bursts into tears. Bruce bursts out laughing. Everyone has their own way of processing grief and shock and grief turned into shock, apparently.
It’s later, when they’ve gotten Loki a little patched up, convinced Okoye not to kill Loki (”He tried to destroy the world!” she says – “He’s gotten better,” Bruce says), and Thor’s eyes were mostly dry, that Loki finally says through clenched, bloodied teeth:
“They’re in a pocket dimension.”
“Who?” Bruce whispers, stunned.
“Everyone. I told him he’d never be a god. He was just a warlord playing at being something powerful. He should’ve fucking listened.”
theproblemwithstardust 