Peter Parker: -on meeting Loki, offers his hand- Hi, I’m Peter!
Loki: -shakes his hand- Loki of Asgard.
Peter: Aren’t you like…a bad guy?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Peter: So like…on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like…killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog…where are you right now?
Loki: …maybe a three?
Peter: Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six.
Loki: -thinking- I like him.
It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.
It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”
And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.
WE NEED LOKI AND PETER FICS
“Brother, why does young Parker have a gravity emulator ball?”
“Why would I know?”
“Because when I asked him, he said you’d told him it was a toy. Loki, that’s a weapon of war.”
“And?”
“Are you trying to usurp Stark as the boy’s mentor?”
Loki looked up from his phone (when did he get one of those?) to take an obnoxious sip from his frappe.
“Look, he’s a smart kid. He can handle it. I really don’t care about it that much.”
There was a loud bang from the other side of the room, and the brothers looked over to see Peter (and the couch) pinned to the ceiling, the gravity orb thauming angrily in midair.
“Mr. Loki? I’m uh. I’m kind of stuck.”
Thor snorted and let a small tongue of lightning flick from his fingers to deactivate the orb, and everything crashed back to the floor. Loki shot up in his seat, peering over to see if the couch had crushed him.
“I’m okay!” Peter yelled
Thor stifled a laugh “You don’t care?”
“Not. A. Word.” Hissed Loki, already planning to stab his brother for the third time that week.
Ya’ll can try and tell me that Tony Stark isn’t a diva but all I hear is James Rhodes yelling for his best friend to hurry up already and Tony screaming that he needs to moisturize, dammit.
Rhodes: COME ON WE ARE LIKE AN HOUR LATE
Tony: stop yelling at me I can’t find a tie that matches
Rhodey: we’RE GONNA MISS THE PREVIEWS AND THEN YOURE GONNA BITCH AT ME ABOUT IT LATER YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME
tony: IF YOU EXPECT ME TO WALK OUT OF THIS HOUSE WITHOUT MY SHOES MATCHING MY OUTFIT PERFECTLY YOU DONT KNOW ME AT ALL RHODES
Rhodey: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
tony: WHY DONT YOU WANT ME TO LOOK NICE
rhodey: ITS JUST THE MOVIES WE’RE LITERALLY GOING TO SEE A MOVIE TONY
tony: YOU THINK ITS ACCEPTABLE TO WEAR SWEATS AND SANDLES TO EVERY EVENT THAT ISNT PROFESSIONAL, YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND
Where is the lie?
Rhodey : YOUR SOCKS DONT NEED TO MATCH YOUR JACKET
Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram
HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP
Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great
one night, the commandos see something, a flicker of something none of them dare name, between their captain and their sniper.
‘i think we should just ignore it, dugan. it doesn’t really make a difference. we’re still a team, right?’ gabe asks, eyes flickering over to where cap and barnes are sitting at the bar as he does. there’s so much there; it’s in the way they move around each other, the look in their eyes as they stare at one another.
‘i mean… does anyone here have a problem with it?’ falsworth comments. gabe quickly translates, and dernier waves him off in a way that tells gabe that he’s got no quarrel with it.
‘speak now or forever hold your peace, gentlemen,’ morita says. they stay silent, and falsworth raises a glass. the rest of them follow suit.
‘swear yourselves to silence, gentlemen. cap and barnes deserve this. we owe ‘em that much.”
they drink, and the moment passes. none of them mention it again. they don’t mention it when barnes and cap go missing for hours, only to sneak back into camp in the middle of the night. they don’t talk about the way the two of them slide their sleeping mats ever so closer together when they’re out in the field. they don’t talk about it, until the day after they receive the news that cap’s plane went down, with him on it.
“to the captain, and to barnes. may they find each other again, in every eternity.”
theproblemwithstardust 