Thanos, a philosophy and economics double major who thinks once you eat a plant it will never grow back: i have to slaughter half the universe’s population with the infinity stones, so that no one ever runs out of resources and starves
Thor, a phys ed and linguistics major with a minor in women’s studies, taking a sip of his strawberry protein shake: can’t you just use the infinity stones to create more resources tho?
Also I feel like Clint and Laura have a lot of text message conversations that start like this:
Clint: your wife started another coup.
Laura: why is she always my wife when she starts a coup?
You know the reverse of this is also true:
Laura: ur husband is tearing up the house again
Natasha: oh sure he’s my husband when he’s breaking shit
Laura: he says pick up more drill bits on ur way home he got one lodged in the wall
Laura: nat cooper’s gonna fall in the hole
Natasha: jfc what a disaster
Laura: sos come home
Natasha: ❤
And the triangle: Natasha: the city council tried to gut the library’s budget and my wife made them cry for their mothers. Clint: she’s always your wife when she’s saving the world and my wife when she wants somewhere to put her freezing feet in the middle of the night. Natasha: yes, and?
ok underrated part of ragnarok: “and he knows i love snakes”. hes just so friendly. just so famously loving of snakes that loki was like, oh, i know whatll get him, the friendly bastard
sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard
What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.
Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.
Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.
And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.
And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.
And then they’d make out, the end.
um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing
theproblemwithstardust 