foxyhales:
of course!! you can have as many identities as you’re comfortable with – for example, currently i’m identifying as lesbian and ace (plus nonbinary and demigirl but that’s not what this is necessarily about). you could just leave it at bi ace if you’d like, or you could say you’re bisexual ace based on how your sexual interests may lie (mine are complicated but I can go into it if you want if that’ll help?), or biromantic ace based on your romantic attractions… hopefully she won’t mind but my friend aj @kurosaki224-new-blog identifies as biromantic ace! and my gf @theproblemwithstardust is in the bi ace spectrum too, so maybe could help out too if you have questions!
Hi anon! Yeah, I identify as biromantic asexual, so I just shorten it to bi ace bc syllables lol. I, and many other LGBT+ peeps I know (especially ppl in the ace arena) find the split attraction model super helpful when it comes to expressing our identities.
Idk if you’ve heard of the split attraction model Nonnie, if you have ignore the rest of this explanation lol, but if you haven’t, I think it’s worth looking into! I’m gonna do a summary here anyway bc I’m in a chatty mood and this really helped me when I was questioning!
The split attraction model is based on the idea that there are many different kinds of attraction. Cultures around the world have had different words for different types of love for ages (lots of ppl poinnt out the varied Greek words for love), and so this is kind of an extension of that notion.
The four main kinds of attraction people usually worry about are sexual, romantic, sensual, and aesthetic.
Sexual attraction – that feeling when you meet someone and desire sexual contact with them.
You wanna do the do. The horizontal tango. Bumpin’ uglies. All that jazz. Think, “I wanna hit that.“ Pretty straightforward, so I’m told. Though as an asexual I really have no idea lol (as this lame description obviously shows pffft).
Romantic attraction – that feeling when you meet someone and desire a romantic relationship.
Your basic concept of love lives here. All that cheesy gushy Halmark channel adorableness. Sweet notes and coffee dates and thinking of you flowers. Think, "I wanna date them.”
Sensual attraction – that feeling when you desire NON-SEXUAL physical contact with someone.
This one trips people up sometimes, esp in America’s very touch-conservative Puritan culture that says touch equals sex, so NO TOUCHY UNLESS YOU ARE ACTIVELY SEXING EACH OTHER UP. This is not only a lie, but unhealthy and unrealistic. Touch does not equal sex. Humans need physical contact of all kinds, and sensual attraction covers all the rest of that happy touching. Wanna hug someone? Hold someone’s hand? Gently cradle their face and stroke their hair? That’s sensual stuff. Think, “I wanna cuddle the shit out of them.”
Aesthetic attraction – that feeling when you can’t take your eyes off someone because you find them aesthetically pleasing.
Probably the least talked about kind of attraction, but it’s important to recognize. It is NOT looking at someone and wanting sex, or romance, or touch BECAUSE you find them pretty/handsome/gorgeous beyond belief. Aesthetic attraction is literally only you going, wow they look good. It’s like when you see a lovely painting or a sunset or your favorite constellation. You don’t look at a sunset and wanna sex it, right? (PLEASE DON’T ANSWER THIS TUMBLR. NO SEXING THE SUN ON MY DASH. NO. BAD.) But you do find these things nice to look at. That’s aesthetic attraction. Think, “I think they look really nice, but I don’t want to do anything particular about it.”
And there you have it! Theoretically you could be oriented differently in each of these areas, but most people have a majority of their attraction types pointed in similar directions. Like biromantic and bisexual, or aromantic and asexual.
But I know someone who is homoromantic but pansexual. Also, someone else who is heteroromantic but demisexual. Several people now who ID as bi- or panromantic and asexual.
Personally, I do not experience sexual attraction, so I identify as asexual. However I do experience romantic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction, ans toward multiple genders, so I sum that all up under “bi”.
You can most definitely be bi and ace or demi and pan or any combination of identities that you feel fits you and helps you express yourself! That split attraction model is so, so, so important and I hope that this big rambly mess of mine helped in some way.
And please do feel free to message me if you have any questions or just wanna chat or anything!!! (Though you might have to send it a couple times for it to make it through this whole notif apocalypse tumblr’s got going on rn lol.)
Cheers!
lol jk, I think my dude AJ summed everything up very eloquently, I just wanna add on that yes this is something i struggled with for wayyyy longer than necessary but you can absolutely identify as more than one thing and it’s okay if your labels change as you figure stuff out
theproblemwithstardust 