So I just went with my buddy while he got a rib tattoo, and they hurt like a lot, so he’s over there grimacing and being a huge manbaby so I just reach over and grab his hand so he can squeeze it because I’m a good person who helps others
And he’s clinging to my hand like it’s a life preserver and I’m being me and talking about nonsense like Grimace from the McDonalds commercials and how R2D2 is always ready to throw hands, and whatever, and the artist keeps glancing over at me and I’m like do your tattoo bro I’ve got my buddy handled
But then I realize he’s like, looking over because he can’t tell if he’s seeing something or not, and I glance down and I see my rainbow scalemail bracelet, and how I’m talking to my buddy all fondly and I’m like stroking his arm like he’s a wounded animal, and right as it clicks in my head the tattoo artist asks in his most nonchalant voice possible, like intentionally bland, I’m just talking about the weather haha what do you mean voice:
“So, are you guys close?”
And my gay ass is over to the side internally screaming because yeah, I am gay, but like this is just me being a good bro and my buddy is COMPLETELY OBLVIOUS TO WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE HE’S A GARBAGE STRAIGHT PERSON AND HE SAYS
“Yeah of course, that’s why I asked him to come”
SO NOW THE TATTOO ARTIST THINKS HE’S RIGHT AND HE HAS A GAY COUPLE GETTING A TATTOO AND MY BUDDY HAS NO IDEA AND I’M AWKWARDLY SITTING HERE LIKE SHOULD I STOP HOLDING HIS HAND??? SHOULD I CORRECT THIS TATTOO ARTIST??? SHOULD I LET MY BUDDY KNOW??? MY GAY ASS DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE BEING INCORRECTLY ACCUSED OF BEING GAY, WHAT DO YOU DO
So that tattoo artist is like “Cool man, that’s great. Good for you.”
So then my buddy is like can I get some water, and the guy comes back with one bottle of water and my buddy takes a drink and then hands it to me, and I’m like obviously he has to lay down and needs me to hold his water so I just hold it in my hand, but turns out he was offering me water, so he turns to me and is like Colton, drink some water, and I take a drink and my garbage lizard brain is like “You’re drink sharing in front of the tattoo artist, now he KNOWS he’s right”
So we’re talking about tattoos with the artist and I mention that I’m getting a tattoo in September and my buddy is like “Yeah I’m gonna go and hold HIS hand for that one haha” and the tattoo artist FUCKING SAYS “I mean, I should hope so”
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
I MEAN, I SHOULD HOPE SO
AND NO ONE ACTUALLY BROUGHT IT UP. I KNEW WHAT THE TATTOO ARTIST WAS THINKING BUT DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING TO CORRECT HIM. NOW WHEN MY BUDDY GOES BACK AND GETS HIS NEXT TATTOO IN THE FUTURE AND I’M NOT THERE HE’S GOING TO GO “OH WHERE’S YOUR BOYFRIEND”
Tag find later
#i love that he finds that to be such a ridiculous and inconvenient thing to be squeamish about #are all werewolves like that? #‘my foot snapped off but i put it back on so nbd’ #actually it’s even better if no other packs are like this #there’s this one pocket of violence and blood around beacon hills #and the rest of the world is chill as hell #packs getting together for barbeques #no weird territory things #no parking lot brawls #everyone just living their normal life and howling at the moon in suburbia #and then there’s a werewolf convention #because of course there is #and stiles is fucking READY #he has a million questions to ask everyone about everything and dives right in #walks right up to alphas like ‘so how do you guys deal with wolfsbane poisoning do you also light it on fire and shove it back in?’ #’what’s the weapon of choice for the humans in your pack do they go long distance projectiles or blunt force?’ #’what’s your go-to response to an outbreak of human sacrifice?’ #he’s thinking he’s found common ground and a great ice breaker #he’s killing it on the socializing front #and these other packs are staring at him in wide eyed horror #because the most dramatic thing on the east coast in the last five years was a stolen recipe at a bake sale #and it was a false alarm anyway (via @andavs )
Now I want an outsider’s POV fic about the gossip that starts up around the resurgence of the Beacon Hills Pack and their human who won’t stay out of the fights and like – most of the beasties that have turned up are supposed to be myths. But people keep going back and asking Did you really fight a wendigo? And Stiles is like “oh yeah several. They leave nasty scars. Not a fan.” What about the kanima? And Stiles just turns and shouts “hey, Derek. How many kanimas are we up to now?” And he’s like “you mean killed or converted?” And someone fucking faints.
Me: *tries to explain Teen Wolf’s entire wolfsbane bullet and treatment concept*
Spouse: *deep sigh, pinches nose* So the wolfsbane is mixed in with the gunpowder and then they burn it and put it in the wound…
Me: Yes.
Spouse: …which was caused by the bullet traveling through the barrel of the gun, propelled by burned gunpowder mixed with wolfsbane.
Me: Yes.
Spouse: Those are the same thing. One of those things is not an antidote to the other. If one thing is poisonous to them, so is the other thing.
Me: It does all sound vaguely homeopathic, doesn’t it.
Spouse: *has never watched a single episode* I hate this show so much.
Because I made the spouse actually think about this now:
What hunters would actually use: Large-caliber hollow point rifle rounds (probably in .308 caliber) packed with wolfsbane* and capped with a plastic ballistic tip.
How werewolves would actually counter wolfsbane poisoning: Assuming it’s actually a poisoning reaction and not some sort of weird lycanthropic autoimmune response, they’d need to inject a counteragent into the bloodstream to bind with the wolfsbane to keep it from continuing to bind with whatever receptors werewolves have that makes them vulnerable. Hence, the werewolf equivalent of an epipen. (What would this binding agent be? Who knows. No antidote for aconite poisoning exists, since humans as a species have never needed to develop one, but werewolves obviously have the incentive to do so.)
Bonus logic: To treat the ingestion of mistletoe (or wolfsbane), try activated charcoal.
*Note: Aconite in the real world is a neurotoxin. It opens sodium channels in your neurons, which cause them to uptake more sodium and makes it take longer for them to re-ionize their axons, which changes the way the electrical part of signals between neurons are transmitted. That’s bad for you in all kinds of ways, but the most immediately fatal one is that it disrupts the signals that allow your heart to maintain a steady rhythm. Humans are clearly just as/more susceptible to wolfsbane poisoning as werewolves, and hunters would need to be extremely careful in the preparation of their bullets so as not to fatally poison themselves.
3 times Derek saw Stiles sleeping + 1 time Derek woke up with him.
#the first one derek’s SO DISTURBED#he’s like ‘are you seeing THIS?! look at him! look at the way he sleeps!’#‘doesn’t he have a bed at home? why doesn’t he get enough quality sleep there?!’#‘does he eat enough? does anybody properly care for him oh my god’#love this
au where kira and boyd had the friendship they deserved
(◕‿◕✿)
Boyd snorts as she gracelessly takes another bite, not even trying to catch the bit of sauce as it tumbles down her shirt. “You’re a dork,” he says.
Kira simply smiles at him through a mouth of extra cheesy pizza. “I’m your favorite dork,” she singsongs. “Now help me put away these video games before my mom kills us for all the noise.“
He sighs, but does as he’s told and wraps his controller up in its chord, putting it in its place underneath her little TV. After a beat, he asks, “Do you think I could stay the night?”
From her place crouched in front of the small stand her television sits on, she shrugs.“Sure. It’s not like my parents will care.” She pauses, then turns on her heel and frowns at him. “Things aren’t getting bad again, are they?” she asks sincerely.
Shit. He hasn’t been asked that since… well, the last time Kira asked that. He huffs. “No,” he says defensively. “I just don’t feel like waking your parents or taking a crappy bus home.”
She nods and stands abruptly. “Fair enough,” she agrees. “I’ll go call your mom.” She turns and walks out the door, taking care to call over her shoulder, “Don’t play without me!” on the way out.
Even as she goes, he can’t help but smile. He has to be at least a little lucky to have found a friend in Kira Yukimura.
Malia: I’m so happy, I could kiss you!
Kira: Neat
[Later in Derek’s room]
Kira: I can’t believe I said neat!
Derek: That’s not so bad. Do you remember when Stiles confessed to me
Kira: Didn’t you thank him?
Derek: *laying back against his chair, staring at the ceiling* I thanked him
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This post will explain how to use it and how to make it visible on your blog.
concept: we’re both home in our underwear after a long day at work. your head is in my lap; my hands playing with your hair. we can hear rain against the windowpane outside. it’s quiet, and comfortable, and i love you.
The couple pretends like they’re not together in office and the entire office is trying to set them up. This is so wholesome.
Golden Rules for Fanfiction Readers:
- if the fic already has a thousand comments, comment still. Your comment will still matter and delight the author.
- if a fic is a decade old and the author hasn’t been active in the last five years, comment still. There will come a time when the author will read and cherish your comment, or maybe it will motivate them enough to start writing again. You never know!
- if the author never responds to comments, comment still. Interaction with the author is a very nice bonus, but you can be sure that even if the author doesn’t answer, they will read it and enjoy it at some point
- there’s no such thing as a too long comment.
- there’s no such thing as a too incoherent comment.
- the author will give no flying fuck about any gramatical errors, typo or other misspellings. If you’re a non-native speaker struggling to express themselves, you can be sure the author will be all the more pleased that you surmounted the language barrier to let them know you appreciated their work. Don’t be afraid!
- there’s no such thing as commenting too often.
- you will never, ever come across as creepy by obsessing over a fic or an author to the point where you worry the author might think you’re a stalker. On the contrary, the author will be delighted by your investment in their work.
- say thank you. It’s always appreciated to see readers acknowledge the work and commitment that is put into writing.
- the floaty review box (ao3 add-on) is your friend
- be positive and encouraging. Positive reviews make writers all warm and glowy from the inside, bashing plunge their soul into icy darkness. You want the first, not the second!
- whoever you are, if you read their fic, YOU are IMPORTANT to the author. Let them know you’re there!
(if any author wants to contradict one of those rules, please let me know!)
(Submitted by @randomishnickname)
theproblemwithstardust 