“Nearly everyone with ADHD answers an emphatic yes to the question: “Have you always been more sensitive than others to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you have failed or fallen short?” This is the definition of a condition called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. When I ask ADHDers to elaborate on it, they say: “I’m always tense. I can never relax. I can’t just sit there and watch a TV program with the rest of the family. I can’t turn my brain and body off to go to sleep at night. Because I’m sensitive to my perception that other people disapprove of me, I am fearful in personal interactions.” They are describing the inner experience of being hyperactive or hyper-aroused. Remember that most kids after age 14 don’t show much overt hyperactivity, but it’s still present internally, if you ask them about it. The emotional response to the perception of failure is catastrophic for those with the condition. The term “dysphoria” means “difficult to bear,” and most people with ADHD report that they “can hardly stand it.” They are not wimps; disapproval hurts them much more than it hurts neurotypical people. If emotional pain is internalized, a person may experience depression and loss of self-esteem in the short term. If emotions are externalized, pain can be expressed as rage at the person or situation that wounded them. In the long term, there are two personality outcomes. The person with ADHD becomes a people pleaser, always making sure that friends, acquaintances, and family approve of him. After years of constant vigilance, the ADHD person becomes a chameleon who has lost track of what she wants for her own life. Others find that the pain of failure is so bad that they refuse to try anything unless they are assured of a quick, easy, and complete success. Taking a chance is too big an emotional risk. Their lives remain stunted and limited. For many years, rejection-sensitive dysphoria has been the hallmark of what has been called atypical depression. The reason that it was not called “typical” depression is that it is not depression at all but the ADHD nervous system’s instantaneous response to the trigger of rejection.”
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“Devastated by Disapproval” – William Dodson, M.D., ADDitude Magazine
I did both of those two personality outcomes. Magic or something, I guess. -J
(via actuallyadhd)
I don’t think this is necessarily exclusive to ADHD – it’s extremely familiar to me and, while I have some ADD-ish traits, I very definitely don’t have hyperactivity. It sounds a hell of a lot like a lot of other autistic-or-otherwise-neurodiverse-but-not-necessarily-ADHD people I know too. And it also sounds a lot like something that comes from a (vaguely complex-PTSD-ish?) unconsciously-learnt response to repeated experience (or, in less clinical-sounding terms, internalised oppression), rather than something that necessarily comes from a particular cognitive difference.
(via spikyprofile)
Perhaps this is different where you live, but here “ADHD” now is an umbrella term that covers both “Hyperactive type” and “inattentive type.” I am inattentive type, and I must say that reading this article was like looking in a mirror, it’s amazing how accurate it all is to my life. I was diagnosed 11 years ago and somehow never knew that this was common in ADHD. But I think you’re right that it might have more to do with our conditioning than with our neurotype. I’d love to learn more abut this and see if there’s any more information on the causes.
(via squidsqueen)
One thing that still makes me laugh is that they keep saying they don’t know how we get RSD. Like… really? You don’t know how ADHDers develop RSD? We spend our lives being told off for things we can’t control and having moral judgments applied to our symptoms (which again, we can’t control), and you don’t understand why “overreact” to criticism or perceived criticism? Really? Have any of you read anything about anxiety, perfectionism, and so on? Like, it’s not different for us just because we have ADHD. Mental health is still mental health.
-J
Tag adhd
adhd culture is writing fast but having your mind go even faster so you accidentally a few words
Can not being able to sleep be related to executive dysfunction, because like I’ll be scrolling through my phone at night, and I’ll want to put it down and go to sleep, but I can’t even though I’m like falling asleep and I usually fall asleep with my phone I hand. I was just wondering if it was related
Sent August 22, 2018
Definitely. That’s inertia: the tendency to keep doing what you’re doing until something happens to jar you out of it.
See also: why I didn’t go to bed until 5:30 a.m. last night—I was watching “Degrassi Junior High” Season 2 and finished it out, then did some other things with my bullet journal. Yeah. Not sure how I’m functional today, on just 3 hours of sleep…
-J
person: talking at a normal human pace
my ADHD ass: im Suffering im Bored™️ please go faster go faster go faster
person: talking at a slightly faster pace
my Fucking Adhd Ass: i have not comprehended a single spoken word since 1955
The whole time either way: Don’t interrupt. Don’t interrupt. Remember to listen. Don’t interrupt!
Bonus: Focussing so hard on not interrupting and actually paying attention that you end up not hearing a word because of how hard you’re T R Y I N G
Whole Civilizations Rise And Die In The Time It Takes You To Get To The Damn Point: An Autobiography
The Sequel: You Have In Fact Told Me This Story Before And My Brain Is Desperately Trying To Smash A “Skip Cutscene” Button That Isn’t There, No Offense
Starved Stuffed and Restless: The relation between ADHD and the disregulation of eating. – TotallyADD ADHD Blog, Adult ADHD, ADHD Symptoms
This was really interesting and is a solid overview of how eating is affected by ADHD. There aren’t any answers offered, but I do think that understanding is the first step to overcoming!
-J
ADHD culture is saying “what?” when you heard the question someone asked you but… It didn’t fucking… Register… In the brain? And then you hear the question before they ask again and interrupt them when they’re talking because now you’re An Asshole™ who understands
Someone: Hey what time is it?
Me: What?
Someone: Wha-
Me: It’s 3:20
It’s probably not surprising that folks with executive dysfunction often have little difficulty getting stuff done when there’s someone around to tell us what to do and supervise us doing it. What’s perhaps more surprising is that it’s not necessarily due to fear of punishment: having a supervisor is effective even if the supervisor in question has no ability to actually compel obedience. Basically, “following direct orders” seems to be a totally separate executive pathway from “self-motivating”, and having trouble with the one doesn’t necessarily mean having trouble with the other.
Which, of course, is why you can end up with situations where your own self-care is garbage, but caring for your pet is totally fine: the benefit of having a supervisor ordering you around can be realised even if the party giving the orders is a cat.
I saw a post by @adhdmoi about sensory overload and realized it was relatable for anxiety, autism, and ADHD. so i made a meme.
y’all autistics / ADHD folks ever ask a question and forget to listen to the answer?

