oh-mother-of-darkness:

The complete list of punishable offenses committed inside Wayne Manor, November 2018:

  • sprayed “pest repellant” every time a sibling entered the room
  • failed to warn family members of the presence of reporters (note: siblings in costume forced to hide in the pantry during forty minute interview)
  • snuck out while grounded, left window open during a rainstorm
  • purchased and consumed three dozen oatmeal creme pies
  • commanded dog to drool on sibling’s casework 
  • refused to participate in obligatory nap hour
  • repeated escape attempts during obligatory nap hour (note: four instances) (further note: interrupted other family members’ naps)
  • inappropriate language re: obligatory nap hour
  • insufficient wound care
  • extreme spoon hoarding, complained about lack of spoons in the kitchen (note: search of guilty party’s room found 27 spoons, further 9 in adjoining bathroom)